Have you ever met someone so special that your only fear becomes losing that person? You begin to question every move you make, every word you say. You start thinking about if they’ll still think of you the same and still love you the same way they did a second ago. I have.
If I did have to think on the spot of things I am afraid of it would be losing her. Things have changed, i suddenly don’t have fears of sharks or silly things like the dark, or monsters under the bed. It’s like I’m immune to fear with her in my life. But no one can ever be unbeatable, she brings me to my highest potential and can also put me in the worst slump of my life. I can’t lose her. Just that one thought right there; a capturing image of madness. An image of her not in the image seems impossible if that makes sense.
I feel bad for giving her trouble and putting her through these things that she shouldn’t have to go through. All this trouble she goes through because of me: the late nights not doing homework, the energy she loses putting up with me and so much more, the amount of valuable time she has sacrificed to be with me is amazing. I am grateful for everything. I just want to give her better and better but I don’t know how. It’s kind of sad actually, I can’t give her what she deserves. It sucks walking around seeing all the cooler better guys out there that she could be with. Sometimes I wish I could be those guys amazing her with ease.
I hope I was able to make her happy today though. Today we made 2 months together but in reality it’s been so much longer. Today was so good! From the beginning to the end. My morning was perfect, I was sleeping and I get a phone call at 7 in the morning with a familiar voice saying “Happy anniversary” hahaha i was so out of it because I just woke up. I don’t even remember what I said back or if I even did say anything back. But i was smiling. I had the biggest smile ever! It felt so good.
I haven’t really spent time with her lately though, feels like years since we’ve actually hung out which I’m just not use to. She’s got so much going on in her life; so many opportunities at hand and I would never be able to forgive myself if she let them slip away because of me. I’m learning how to give her more space because I’ve probably suffocated her to death by now (which she would probably agree). I’m so happy for her and I’m even more lucky just to be able to call her my girlfriend.
I still remember those first times we met and spent time together at the park. It’s crazy has quickly time passes by. I swear it was just yesterday that I watched you making a physics bridge and now it is I making one myself, how does that happen? I still remember the very first time we hung out outside of school away from the school. The time at you dad’s house where I was too much of a girl to kiss you haha. I’ve always had feelings for you from the start, hope you know that. Those long days over summer wondering how you were doing, wondering if you still had feelings for me. Those long nights creating our secret messages; the true beginning of everything. haha thank you for everything. We’ve overcome every obstacle and it looks like there are no limits, thank you for everything (: